


Will o' the Wisp

by kappa77



Series: Fem February Challenge [1]
Category: Thrilling Intent (Web Series)
Genre: Bittersweet, Character Study, Episode Related, Gen, Minor Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 15:44:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5933830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kappa77/pseuds/kappa77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A continuation from The Gods are Gone arc, part 9 when Ashe leaves the group.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i> It took every ounce of will, every muscle and bone in her body, to not run out of the Lily Clan area. She almost wished she could puncture her eardrums again, if only to block out the sound of Gregor calling out for her to come back, to talk. <i></i></i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Will o' the Wisp

**Author's Note:**

> This month I gave myself the challenge, in honor of Femslash February, to write something femslash or female-centric once a week for the entirety of February. This is the first week.

It took every ounce of will, every muscle and bone in her body, to not run out of the Lily Clan area. She almost wished she could puncture her eardrums again, if only to block out the sound of Gregor calling out for her to come back, to talk. And as much as she advocated for communicating with each other in battle and in general, the last thing she wanted right now was to talk.

She’d learned long ago that being alone with her thoughts was a bad idea. That’s when the negative thoughts that took so much effort to block out, came back. All the crippling self-doubt, fear of herself and the monster inside her, it all came out when Markus wasn’t there to tell shit jokes, or Thog wasn’t there to drone on and give half compliments, or Kyr to… be Kyr. Hell, it’d been proven with the Phobiast that it came out even when she wasn’t alone. Silence was… deafening, but she found herself craving it today. Today she was too far gone to care. There’d been too much noise as of late.

She needed time, that’s all. Time to think about…everything: the Phobiast, Tellvilan’s Tear, Ohnorants thoughts to spiritfolk, Gregor’s reaction to the flower. At least Markus was sensible in it.

Her eyes closed momentarily as she heard Gregor complain about her. She hurried down the stairs and broke into a run at the bottom. The cobble was rough and uneven beneath her feet, bolts of pain ran up the soles to her calves, but she kept her pace, weaving between pedestrians as they went about their day.

The stone turned to grass as she ran out of Xinkala. As she passed a well, she slowed down only to take off her shoes. She hated the things, constricting, but necessary considering her line of work. Now, while she was just running in the grass, she slipped them off, sighing happily at the feeling of the cool grass between her toes. She started jogging again, slower this time, toward the woods.

Her legs moved on her own, slowing down as she wove between trees and brush. When she reached what she felt was the tallest tree in the forest, she stopped. She ran her hand over the bark, full of knots and with deep etchings, some man made. It was second nature for her to grasp the knots and dig her fingers into the deepest grooves, hoisting herself up on to the lowest branch, scaling the tree as easily as she had in Meathe. The bark bit into her hands, but that only pushed her to climb higher and higher and until she was on the topmost branch, looking out on the vast forest beneath her and the city. It shone bright against the dark trees, looking like a lit up ant hill, a city that never slept in search of the truth.

Ashe snorted. “If only they could help me find mine.”

With that thought, she felt her chest tighten as her problems came rushing at her. She dangled her feet from the branch, the leaves tickling her toes. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on Meathe and why she left. Freedom was the obvious answer, she was trapped on that island, given a position she hadn’t asked for to protect people she didn’t like. The more she thought about Meathe, the more bad memories piled up until they threatened to collapse on her. With panic threatening to burst, she pushed all her thoughts to the side and focused on the silence, hoping it would help her in this one instance. It wasn’t even quiet up there in the tree, but it was quiet compared to the hustle and bustle of the big city. The birds chirping, the leaves rustling in the wind, it made her… homesick.

Her eyes opened why as the thought popped into her head. Homesick? No, no, no, she hated Meathe with every fiber in her body, all she wanted was for it to burn, she couldn’t be homesick!

And yet, as the feeling settled in her chest and the initial disgust faded, she thought, “Maybe I am, in a sense.” She still hated the people, hated what they made her, how they treated her- but the country itself, where even the lowest trees towered above the one she was in, yes, that was what she missed. Nothing could compare to climbing a tree on Meathe and being able to see the entire ocean spread out before her, all the possibilities that lay beyond the blue expanse…

She sighed, leaning back against the tree. “But I have that now, why aren’t I happy with it?” she muttered.

Her eyes drifted to Xinkala, where her friends were doing champion things probably, protecting a city they had only just arrived at, barely knew, and now they were dedicating their lives too.

“That’s not me,” she thought. She winced internally, but deep down, she knew it was true. Meathe was a peaceful country, its only problems being internal. Ever since she left, she’d been thrown into foreign ideas, foreign ways of living, expected to adapt quickly in order to survive. She was still getting used to life outside of Meathe, let alone integrating herself into diverse cultures with every adventure they faced. She loved life outside of Meathe, but it was too quick, too soon.

She sighed, “Maybe… maybe I was too ambitious, maybe I should go back…”

Her head dropped so she looked down at herself, at the branch she was sitting on. “Well… I guess I could stay here a bit longer.”

Ashe ended up falling asleep where she sat, a dreamless sleep she’d been wishing for some time.


End file.
